The last few days, I have been seeking wisdom for answers…why? Because just the other day I said some hateful things that I wish never said to someone who will always have a place in my heart, my brother. As I can sit up here and supercoat the severity of the situation, I won’t do that either because we must find a way to freedom and peace in our hearts.
Whether we have transgressed someone else or someone has transgressed us, this message is for you. I want to share how I myself who has done both, managed to free my mind from the situation so I can continue to do the work God wants me to do.
First, I understand how difficult it is to forgive someone else who has wronged us…in the society we live in today, we can easily get caught up in pointing fingers at others or blaming ourselves for whatever mistake/wrong that shows up in our life. This goes for me too.
It was very hard for me to work without addressing this situation. I too, was trying to protect an “Identity” that I played far too long, that I can see now is being destroyed as I write this message. I will no longer protect that identity, because it no longer serves me. If I plan to live in my purpose, and truly make a difference in the world, I must do it God’s way. That is being REAL and acknowledged when I myself have fallen short too.
Just writing this gives me relief because I got so sick of holding on to this “Righteous” identity. Truth is I am no better than you nor anyone else in this world. I fall short too. Now that doesn’t mean I have to air my dirty laundry. What it means is you must understand we all have forgiveness work to do and we WILL continue to have this work to do because we are going to make mistakes. WE ARE HUMAN!
Now, some of our wrongdoings or wrongdoings that have been done to us may be unspeakable, I get that. HOWEVER, that does not matter! We must take full responsibility for ourselves so that we can grow, learn and move on with life! Not choosing death.
In order to move on and learn from our mistakes we must forgive ourselves FIRST, so we can forgive others! Now why is this important? Because when we don’t forgive ourselves, we internally die…leading toward internal suicide. Trust me, I know what this feels like! Yet, there is a way to freedom. And that is through forgiving ourselves, so that we can forgive others.
Some of us can’t fathom forgiveness for other people who have wronged us because we are too busy hating ourselves and not forgiving ourselves for our own transgressions OR feeling like we didn’t put up enough walls to protect ourselves from being hurt from someone else, so we are angry with ourselves for not being the protector in the first place.
So, this turns into a vicious cycle of self-hatred that we project onto the world that shows up in our life experiences and sometimes with the ones we really love.
You see, I have experienced this firsthand. And FREEDOM is my ideal emotion state! And I noticed the more I beat myself up for not protecting myself or feeling like I could have avoided something I have done wrong to someone else, the more I felt trapped and suffocated.
As soon as I turn to God for answers and seek wisdom from the kingdom of God, immediately I felt grace, love and a sense of forgiveness for myself which then onset me feeling joyful to forgive others.
I know this is a process, however with willingness to forgive ourselves, no matter how awful the crime we have committed, comes a powerful sense of compassion and forgiveness for others. This leads to freedom in our minds, joy in our hearts and grace in our life experiences.
Don’t take my word for it…try this and let me know what shows up for you afterwards!